a letter for you-know-who (should i send it?help!)

i know am not in the position to tell you what do, what with you being OLD enough to know what's right or wrong and what's good or bad, aside from the fact that you are a GM in the company i work for.

but i cannot hold my piece any longer since after all, this is my sister we are talking about. am sure you are aware that she's only 22 years old (old enough maybe age wise but there are still a lot of things she needs to learn and experience and am certain being a mistress is not one of them). i know, i know, you dont consider her a mistress and certainly she doesnt wanna be called that either but we cannot erase the fact that you ARE, after all, married. you must have a lot of charms to speak of since my sister seems smitten by you. and am sure you know that when a person is infatuated, s/he has a tendency to be blinded by it that s/he fails to recognize the faults of the person she seems smitten with. but since i am definitely the opposite of smitten, i can see where this is going and i fail to catch even a glimpse of a happy-ever-after (dont get me wrong, i dont believe in that crap but her discovering that it does not exist, does not need to come from experiencing the sad and pained life of a mistress). and dont give me the bullshit of the tired line you seem to be using with her about giving time and such. whatever problems you have with your wife, i suggest you take care of that first before swallowing my sister along with your marital troubles. she has enough problems of her own...our family has enough problems of our own without you adding to it. i haven't told my parents about this craze because i dont want to worry them more than they already are. how do you think will they feel if they learned about my sister's recklessness and with an old married man at that?

i know am not one to talk with the patriarchal society's version of morality but at least am not hurting anybody in the process or dangling another person for that matter. if you truly like or whatever the heck emotion you told her you feel for her, kindly take care of your mess first and ill advice my sister to do the same. if after all your shit (for lack of a better term) are finally put together and you still..whatever you feel for each other.. then fine, you can go back to pursuing my sister and i wouldn't have a problem with that.

for now, let her learn the ropes of being an adult on her own. we are trying to help my my sister here achieve a semblance of maturity and sensibility and have a respect for the thing called acting responsibly. i hope you do the same.

when..?

when you withhold certain information, does that constitute lying? am just wondering here...

some would say it does while others would definitely disagree. the former i think would be comprised of people who are totally honest and who are incidentally utterly boring (just my opinion) and the latter by people who have a lot to hide (i.e. killers, rapists, adulterers, etc.)

so give me feedback here..when are you considered a lying sonofa..and when are you...not?

be merry, if you want..since marry is not an option.

i dunno what to do with you. i tried talking to you. i tried threatening you.i tried writing to you. all to no avail.

what did you come here for? am i supposed to just roll over and salivate just because you graced us with your presence? i dont need a headache here. its hard enough earning money and sending it to the people who needs it. am i asking too much here? i dont even get the consolation of you helping around without being told. is it so hard for you to take your freakin hands off that adulterer? why do you have to put yourself in that situation? haven't you seen enough heartache around you to not know how this could affect the parties involved, let alone yourself if you (god forbid) fall for him? i thought you understand perfectly well.and if you do and still want to pursue this, i dont want to have anything to do with it. i told you already not to go out with him. and if you cant do that, wait until you leave my freakin' house before you do anything stupid. if you want to go to jail since surely you will, if you get caught, then do it. be merry. just get the hell out of my place and dont include me in the scrutiny of the police.

reflection

i have loved you for a long time…truth be told, i have loved you since the day i met you.

flashback...

crowded awning, sweaty bodies, silhouettes grinding, music blaring, me dancing.. then a guy brushing against me..trying to face me..how impertinent! i exclaimed. you appeared out of nowhere..hoping to rescue..showing concern...amazing!i said to myself. a gallant woman ;>

and not for long...you became mine. and i yours.

now...almost five years later..here we are. still together..continuing to build the pillar we've built for each other...having strengthened the foundation we've established.

suffice it to say that it wasnt all roses (or in my case, lilacs) there were thorns and screws and even really big nails..but i guess, loving you and you loving me was more than enough to hurl us back into working order ;>

you keep saying i am your mirror...i also stand by that..how i will be, shall be the reflection of how good you are to me.

euphoric

i made sure.

and yes, my stay at the hotel in london for 2 nights will be paid for by the company.

ain't that grand? ;> hahahahaha

ELATION-pathological euphoria sometimes accompanied by intense pleasure (merriam-webster dic)

i am in a state of euphoria ;> i am so excited, elated, ecstatic...take all the synonyms of the word from every thesaurus you can find. i am that ;> and more...weeeee....

i recently got my UK visa. It is valid for 6 freakin' months ;> i am goin' there wit my colleague and friend, zenith. she has a sister who lives in coventry. so, basically, we'll be staying there. we were supposed to visit scotland for the 1st week but due to some recent developments, the schedule has changed.

my boss (the highest in hierarchy) spoke to me this morning and asked me bout my visa. i told him, yes, i have it already. and he asked when i planned to go to london. i told him, we might go there for a day and do the sightseeing then return back to coventry in the evening. and he exclaimed: 'you cant take it all in in one day! london is very big! everything's there and it should take u 3days to tour around the city'. i explained to him that despite the fact that we do have our visas, we really dont have much money to spend (well, am speaking for myself anyway). and so he said...when do you plan on going? i told him the date and he said to me:

"you shall go to london on the 5th, check-in in the hotel near the office, do your sight-seeing in the afternoon. next day, whole day, you shall do more sight-seeing (after which he drew the location along with all the bridges with all the tourist spots we should visit i.e. buckingham palace, london eye, big ben, etc.). on the 7th, you shall have the opportunity to visit our london office and in the afternoon, you may go back to coventry" (it was more exciting hearing him speak, of course ;>) nway, lastly, he said: "ill have carol arranged it, ill give you all the details later"

i am wishing fervently that when he said he'll hav carol do the arranging, he means he'll pay for the hotel stay as well since i know i explicitly told him, we, well i, didnt have money to spend.

aaahhhhhh...cant dwell on that right now...am just so elated.

and you may wonder that eventho' my honhun isnt coming wit me, i am still overjoyed. well, the truth of the matter is, this is just the beginning. hopefully, after this uk stint, it would be easy getting a schengen visa. zenith, her partner, honhun and i are planning to go visit some of the schengen countries next ;>

and that, folks, keeps me in elation.

solitude

For a while now, ive been seeking for you..
You can really be so elusive, you know.

For quite some time, I've tried to catch your attention
Yet you always manage to escape my clutches.

Is it because I try so hard?
Or could it be because I don’t try hard enough?

rants

I have the tendency to be really bitchy at times…I know that.

But sometimes, it gets really tiring having to be responsible for someone. For my kid, I totally understand that. I mean, I am his mother after all. But for other people, who by the way, are adults already, it's so damn exhausting. I mean, hello!!! Look at me for crying out loud! My son isn't even with me. I temporarily placed my duties on my parents' shoulders. Yeah, yeah..i know, totally irresponsible, right? So what the heck are these people asking me to be accountable for them for? Arghh!!!

I am so tired of people taking my generosity for granted, if you can even call it that. When they ask for something, they expect you to give immediately. And the irksome part is they don’t even give you anything in return. Though that's not the worst, that part would be--they even expect more! Sigh...

This donkey (as aptly described by one of the very few witty colleagues of mine) just did it again. He again noticed me. And by notice, I don’t mean the approving kind of way. He remarked ("incidentally" to my immediate sup) that the skirt I am wearing is very short. I have this other lady colleague who wears shorter skirts than mine every single day in the office and I don’t even hear him say a word about it. Just because that woman is a manager, does that exempt her from certain rules (which am sure this donkey just made)? I dunno what is wrong with him. I really don't. I mean, it's not as if I was promoted to his level after 10 months. Am still a freakin assistant! What's wrong with him? Maybe he's threatened by my presence. Hahahaha!!! That would be the day, him being replaced by yours truly.

Stop whining woman! I've had it up to my neck with your rantings! It's all the same boring stuff every f*ckin' day. It would have been nice if once in a while you change your tune, or even change the person you are whining about, or even just the situation. Ghad! If you're so tired of you freakin' relationship/s (with every living organism) either deal with it properly or DIE!!!! ;> hehehe am one to talk!